Last night’s Celebrity Apprentice was sponsored by Crystal Light, a drink I’m pretty sure is only purchased by dieting women. In fact, the first true reaction anyone had to the announcement of this week’s sponsor, was by Aubrey O’Day ,who gushed that the low-calorie drink helped her lose weight.
Apparently, Crystal Light is attempting to cash in on Bethenny Frankel’s lady drinker gravy train and has created a line of drinks inspired by cocktails. This week’s assignment for our celebrities was to each throw a fabulous launch party for two of the drinks: Peach Bellini and Pomtini. Immediately, I thought that Teresa Giudice was a natural choice for project manager. Not only has she thrown several huge parties onReal Housewives of New Jersey, but she actually has a line of (alcoholic) Bellini’s on the market.
Instead, Aubrey took the job for Forte. No one mentioned it on the show, but I really feel disappointed that Teresa didn’t step up on this task. Is her strategy simply just to coast? Clay Aiken talking heads that Aubrey is a natural for this task, because “Aubrey popped right out of her momma’s chotch and started grabbing on to the stripper pole.” Clay Aiken: hilarious! Who knew?
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For the men’s team, Clay took on the project manager job for the first time. The men’s team picked the Peach Bellini and the women’s team took on the Pomtini. I can already tell I hate typing those two terms and I will have to type them at least a thousand more times. Anyway, the teams leave the random rooftop they are on and get started on the party planning.
It’s clear from the quiet vibe of the men’s van that none of them know where to begin with this task. Arsenio Hall describes himself as a recluse, which I believe, since no one has seen him in public prior to this show for, maybe, 20 years. In contrast, the women’s team already has an idea ready, courtesy of Aubrey’s extensions. Maybe they soak her brain in omega 3 oils so she can come up with this stuff. Aubrey and her constant companion, Lisa Lampanelli both gravitate towards this “forbidden fruit” theme and Aubrey talking heads that many cultures think pomegranates are the forbidden fruit, and not the apple, as is commonly thought. For all you biblical scholars out there, Aubrey was actually correct!
The Crystal Light suits show up to meet the teams and emphasize to each that they have to be sassy, vibrant and fun. Aubrey talking heads that she’s worried the theme will conflict with the brand messaging, but decides to go on with it anyway. Finally, the men settle on a beach theme, courtesy of Clay, called “Life’s A Peach.” Get it, like a beach!?
Aubrey ends up being a fantastic project manager; she actually gives everyone a specific job to do and does not lose her cool, like Lisa or let the task get out of control, like Dayana Mendoza‘s turn. She gives Teresa the job of getting furniture, which I thought was a brilliant call-out to her infamous scene of buying thousands of dollars in gaudy furniture in cash. Teresa loves the role and says (with a straight face), “I have been told by my friends I have exquisite taste.” Teresa might need new friends. Her big role culminates into getting a carpet installed in the party space, and yelling at the dude on the phone when the carpet is late. She also makes Crystal Light popsicles, which just look weird and amateur.
The men rally and work together well, like they always do. Penn Jillette seems especially careful not to piss Clay off after last week’s argument about Penn’s demeanor. Dee Snider interviews that the men have thrown a typical dude event with no tables, no coasters and no little details, but in the end, the men’s party ends up looking like a lot more fun than the women’s more sophisticated affair. Clay gets his devoted fans, the awfully named “Claymates” to come out to support his venture and Arsenio does a great job of being cruise director. Somehow, they were even able to get Kathie Lee and Hoda Kotb to show up to an event without alcohol, which is impressive.
Over at the ladies’ event, the only snafu is in the signage. Patricia Velasquez was put in charge of this yet again, and rather than run her signs by Lisa or Aubrey, she remains silent and gets the posters printed without approval. When they arrive, none have Crystal Light on them, but focus on the name of the beverage. Patricia keeps saying that Aubrey and Lisa are creating a very negative work environment for her, but in this instance, I just don’t see it. The work environment for Forte is the best it’s been all season.
Other highlights: Debbie Gibson hustled that comeback career, yet again, and managed to find another excuse to sing. She creates an extremely addictive jingle for Crystal Light, which is recorded and given to guests as favors, to be sold on eBay later on. Dayana tags along for the recording and makes supportive noises. It looks like Aubrey just pawned Dayana off on Debbie in order to avoid her. Dayana’s biggest contribution this week ends up being her inviting several of her beauty pageant friends. Every good party needs attractive people, she said. That’s one way to appeal to Donald Trump in the boardroom; keep mentioning good-looking women and pageants.
When we get to the boardroom, Dayana is once again singled out for elimination by Aubrey, along with Patricia. Me thinks there is an alliance between the other contestants. If there is, once they are forced to turn each other on, it’ll make for epic drama. On the men’s side, in a moment of nervousness, Clay ends up picking three folks: Paul Teutul, Dee and Lou Ferrigno, who can not avoid the chopping block no matter how many percents he gives.
The feedback is given and the women get dinged the most for not emphasizing Crystal Light enough on the signage. There goes Patricia. Somehow, the men end up winning, yet again. I would have given the win to the women, solely because of the jingle and because I think ultimately, the women captured the overall feel of the product better than the men. But, the men’s party was more fun. The men’s concepts are much more straight-forward, and I think this is the key to their success.
Anyway, back in the boardroom, Aubrey, Patricia and Dayana are up. Aubrey won’t stop crying, but manages to talk her way out of a firing. Dayana somehow miraculously stays, because Donald overvalued her contribution of “pretty people.” Ultimately, Patricia’s mistake with the signs cost the women their win and she ends up going home. Everyone cries and holds hands as they leave, which surprises Donald and Ivanka, since they are unfamiliar with the range of human emotions.
Next week: a three-hour episode, because NBC is trying to kill us! A brief request if you made it this far: this is a very long show to recap and I always end up missing stuff to discuss. What would you like to see more of? If you have constructive feedback, I’d love to hear it!
TELL US: DO YOU AGREE WITH THIS WEEK’S FIRING? WHO HAD THE BETTER PARTY?
It was exciting enough when it emerged two team members were going to be fired from this week's Celebrity Apprentice.
But the drama level was raised past boiling point when another member walked off in the epic three-hour episode of the hit show.
Singer Debbie Gibson was the first to walk, and was given the boot after another strife-filled task among the women's team.
All over: Debbie Gibson and Dee Snider were fired from The Apprentice while Aubrey O'Day walked off the show
But it was when the teams were jumbled as a result of the latter group being so short in numbers that the sparks started to fly
And while Twisted Sister star Dee Snider was fired for his group's failure, the numbers were equalised as Aubrey O'Day had already stormed off because of her cohorts 'negativity,' after she was given a board room dressing down for her self-centred behaviour.
Before it emerged his team had won, project manager Arsenio Hall had angrily laid into her in the boardroom because of her selfishness and controlling nature, pointing out she always would 'put an I in team.'
After her dramatic exit she complained to the camera: 'I don't want to be around all the negativity anymore.
'The environment is so ugly. I just don't know if this is the right place for me.'
Getting stuck in: The men's team Unanimous were like a well oiled machine as they created their guide book
Conflict: Comedienne Lisa Lampanelli clashed with beauty queen Dayana Mendozain when she wanted direction put in the book
75592, NEW YORK, NEW YORK ñ Sunday, April 1st, 2012, Celebrity Apprentice. ìWalking Papers, Parts 1 and 2.î In a Special 3-Hour Episode the Celebrities face two tasks: Creating a limited edition My New York Celebrity Guidebook and promoting a Walgreens Walking Kit.
Arsenio was unapologetic though, and went into a foul-mouthed rant about her behaviour when it became clear she had walked out on her team.
It was a dramatic ending to a show that started with an entertaining task, with the teams being asked to come up with special My New York celebrity guide books, and sell them to raise money for charity.
The girls put most of their energies into the designing process, with Aubrey, Teresa Giudice and Dayana Mendozain one group getting material in the field, while Debbie Gibson and Lisa Lampanelli working on production.
However this decision would blow up in their faces, with the too much time being spent on gathering material and not enough using their celebrity muscle to draw backers.
Catty Aubry was not slow to slate her mini-team, saying their attempts at photography 'was like two blondes trying to be nuclear physicists.'
Pan handler: Aubrey had not managed to get any big money donors so canvassed passersby
Been to the bank Teller? The famous magician brought along $20,000 in cash to back his partner Penn
You Blue it: The Blue Man Group had $8,000 they put in balloons and would blow up till they burst for a theatrical flourish but it caused a money grab on the street
The progress on the men's side was much more serene, as befits a team with such a winning groove.
They quickly ran with magician Penn Jillette's idea to photograph each member in his favourite part of the city, and their speed allowed them to concentrate on fundraising.
When the day to sell their products came, they were a massive success, with celebrity backers including former teammate Michael Andretti and Penn's partner Teller showing up to give massive donations of $20,000 each.
When they entered the boardroom the women were given $35,000 for having the best book, but still lost out in the fundraising stake.
They had raised $162,855 to the men's 162,869, which meant the fact Arsenio Hall had lost a blank cheque from his friend Jay Leno, which meant he had raised no money, a moot point.
So have we won: The women thought they may have stolen a win after getting $35,000 for the best book
Boardroom backlash: Debbie and Teresa argued and drew the attention away from firing line fixture Dayana
Fired: Donald wielded the axe on Debbie but said he was disappointed as he thought Aubrey should have been sacked instead
The cattiness in the women's team reached boiling point, with Debbie Gibson furious beauty queen Dayana had been called instead of Aubrey, despite her raising the least amount of money.
Project leader Teresa's decision proved fatal to her chances, and she was eliminated for raising the least money.
After firing her tycoon Trump told her: You're right Debbie, she should have brought Aubrey also, she raised the lowest amount.'
Bitter at effectively being sacked because the worst performing member of the team had not been brought behind, she refused to hug Teresa as she left the building.
In an upbeat interview afterwards, she said: 'Mr Trump can't fire from being Debbie Gibson so nothing is lost.'
Jumbling up the teams: With the women's numbers so low the Trumps decided to mix it up by making the groups unisex
Not impressed: Aubrey was not slow in voicing her opinion that Arsenio was not the 'strong' player she had admired in the past
Project managing to stay calm: The fuming comedian was angry he was being undermined by his new team mate
The latest firing from the women's side would have major repercussions, as the teams were rejigged to balance the numbers.
Aubrey and Teresa joined Unanimous, while Penn and Dee were added to Forte.
They were charged with coming up with a presentation to promote the Walk With Walgreen's campaign, and with when Lou Ferrigno and Arsenio became project leaders, it laid the foundation for a dramatic ending to the marathon show.
Aubrey started undermining everything the comedian was trying to achieve, and when they decided to add quotes to a cube they were designing to promote the product she made the night's most biting comment.
She said: 'Yours could be I decided to take a walk away from the industry for a while.'
Winning the game show: His team had won the battle but ended up losing the war
Grabbing attention: Dayana showed off her most noteworthy talent as she pranced around the stage in a bathing suit
Too much juggling: Penn had played a gig the night before and with only an hours sleep ended up saying the wrong company's name
When the time came for the actual presentation Lou gave a heartfelt speech about how walking had helped him get over major surgery after he had both knees replaced, while Penn Jillette and Dayana added pizazz, the former juggling and the latter prancing around in her bathing costume.
However Penn, who arrived after only sleeping for an hour due to performing the day before, made a big mistake by calling the project Walk With Walmart.
Dee Snider's packaging and cube also drew the wrath of the judges. It had been done on the them of things that can be done while walking, and he including 'yelling,' 'itching' and scratching.'
The latter was fatal in the boardroom, as he was fired because of the disappointment over the materials he had designed.
He was still bitter he had been fired before Lou, saying: 'If it wasn't for me propping him up he wouldn't have been able to throw me under a bus.'
Furious: Arsenio Hall's anger finally was vented when he let loose in the boardroom but he was backed up by his fellow contestants
Crocodile tears: Aubrey turned on the waterworks but her love of drama suggests she may have secretly loved the controversy
In the firing line: Lou defended his performance and ultimately won out as his inspiring speech put Dee's bad packaging in stark contrast
Lisa Lampanelli insists Arsenio Hall's foulmouthed tirade on "Celebrity Apprentice" last weekend was WAY worse behind the scenes -- claiming Arsenio called Aubrey O'Day the c-word ... and even got violent.Lisa called in to Broadminded on XM Sirius Stars Thursday -- and according to the comedian, the worst parts of Arsenio's anti-Aubrey outburst were edited out ... when he called Aubrey a "c***" and said, he would "something something all over her face."You'll recall ... the parts that did make it to air included Arsenio in the War Room, saying, "I Googled [Aubrey] and a naked picture with a gut popped up ... f**k her!" (below)But Lisa says what was edited out sounded so "violent" -- she jumped up and alerted producers, claiming it was the first time in 20 years she had been so shaken up.Calls to Arsenio were not returned.
His on-screen alter ego would famously warn people not to be make him angry.
But it was Incredible Hulk star Lou Ferrigno's own explosion of temper, which he followed by stabbing his teammates in the back, that made Donald Trump see red when he fired him on tonight's Celebrity Apprentice.
The tycoon was stunned following a spectacular boardroom blow-up between the bodybuilder and comedienne Lisa Lampanelli, who he said he wanted to throw through a wall.
But the former Mr Universe really dug his own grave when he committed the cardinal sin of saying the opposing team's attempts at creating a television advert were better than his own groups.
Fired: Lou Ferrigno was fired after he started an argument in the boardroom and stabbed his teammates in the back on this week's Celebrity Apprentice
Trump told him: 'You didn't work very hard on this one Lou. How come everyone on your team said you didn't work.
'Most importantly there was great disloyalty to your team. Lou you're fired.'
Lou tried in vain to make the building magnate change his mind, before giving a rueful grin as he was escorted off the premises.
And he stuck to his guns afterwards, saying: 'I feel like they have got no shame. I walked away knowing I couldn't have given any more.
Pulling the trigger: Donald's children revealed afterwards that he had always taught them loyalty is the most important of all qualities
Angry: Lou's fit of temper caused him to resemble his old on-screen character The Incredible Hulk
'I was honest. I gave my honest good forward opinion. I'm proud of it because the other team won.'
The seeds for the explosive confrontation that set the drama in motion were sewn at the beginning of the show, when Lisa discovered Lou and Dayana Mendoza had been saved at Dee Snider's expense, and she called them 'f***ing losers.'
Just before the boardroom meeting Lou made it clear he was going to let off some verbal fireworks.
And he certainly unloaded as he voiced his frustrations in front of Donald and his executives.
See that wall...: Lou said he would have thrown Lisa through a wall if she was a man after she called him a loser
Firing back: But she did not hesitate in firing back and pointing out the bodybuilder's long list of shortcomings
Delight: Team Unanimous kept out of the spat and were delighted when they emerged victorious
He said: 'Lisa's lucky not to be a man tonight, because I would throw her right through that wall.
'After the last boardroom you called me a 'f***ing loser, both Dayana and I.
'You're mean and you're vicious. No one calls Lou Ferrigno a f***ing loser.'
She did not hesitate in firing back, replying: 'If you physically threaten me again, there's going to be a problem.'
However the strongman tried to pivot, saying: "I don't fight with women, I was just giving an honest opinion.
'If you were a man, you'd go straight through that wall.'
F***ing losers: Lisa unloaded when she found out Dayana and Lou had survived at the expense of Dee Snider
Turning green with rage: Her comments stewed in Lou's mind throughout the week before he finally exlpoded
But she was not impressed, and told him: 'I did the job and you didn't. Get ready for an elevator ride Lou.'
It was also pointed out that his one task, to print some posters for their presentation, was beyond his capabilities.
The argument was the culmination of tension that grew within the group during this week's task, which was to create a television advert for Entertainment.com.
And Lou committed the cardinal sin of being disloyal to his team when Donald asked both teams to compare their products.
He said he preferred the fact the other team had used their celebrity status to their advantage by casting themselves instead of actors.
Coming up with a plan: They decided to make a commercial about two lovers and Lou failed to put himself forward as a star
Well oiled machine: While the other team laboured Unanimous seemed to be forging ahead more smoothly
Lou said: 'I like their commercial. I think the fact they used more star power... I basically like their commercial.'
But Donald was visibly shocked as he pointed out his team were unhappy with his behaviour, and he was duly selected as a candidate for firing by project leader Dayana Mendoza along with Lisa, despite the fact magician Penn Jillette had been absent for much of the task due to a prebooked gig.
The show began with the fall out from last week's dramatic walk out by Aubrey O'Day.
Working things out: Aubrey O'Day and Arsenio Hall agreed to put their disagreements behind them for the team
Best friends forever: Teresa Giudice was delighted when she discovered Aubrey had made her return
Former chat show host Arsenio Hall made up with her, though she made it clear on camera she had not forgotten his rant about her being a control freak last week.
The efforts of both teams were well liked by the Entertainment.com executives, but their use of their team as performers and their superior demonstration of how to use the website ultimate won the day.
Dayana's team used actors in their story of two lovers who fall in love as they use the website.
They were told their strength was they showed the variety of devices that can be used with the service, but their story was more clichéd and the direction was poor.
Playing against type: American Chopper star Paul Teutul Sr was cast as a conservative father
What's going on here: Double entendres between Aubrey and her on-screen boyfriend sent him into a rage
Clichéd: The executives did not like the slightly bland story and Donald thought Penn should have played the geeky boyfriend
"Celebrity Apprentice" star Dayana Mendoza is firing back at Lisa Lampanelli ... claiming Lisa insulted an "entire Hispanic culture" when she called the beauty queen a "sp*c" during a radio interview.It all went down last month when Lampanelli appeared on Sirius XM and said, "I actually would love to see [Dayana] giving birth. She’s a sp*c! She’s going to do it f**king soon, anyway. She’ll be knocked up before the end of the week.”Now, Dayana is speaking out about the racial slur ... telling the Huffington Post, "I understand that it's Lisa's job to make fun of people for a living. If poking fun at me can help her sell tickets to her shows, no problem, I am happy to help her put food on her table. However, when she uses racial slurs, she is not only targeting myself but degrading an entire Hispanic culture."We reached out to Lisa for comment -- so far, no response.
This week’s Celebrity Apprentice saw Team Forte and Team Unanimous handed the task of designing puppets and putting on an improvised performance for an adult audience.
The teams met Donald Trump in FAO Schwartz and were introduced to Jim Henson’s son Brian, before heading to the famous Creature Shop where they built their puppets.
And while both teams fared well in their performances, there was a clear winner in the form of Team Forte.
Booted out: Paul Teutel, Sr. was sent home on Celebrity Apprentice after his team lost a puppetry challenge
Lisa Lampanelli was the project manager and she and Clay Aiken made for something of a dream team thanks to her improvisation experience and Clay’s puppetry skills.
The audience gave rapturous applause and many laughs for their comic performance.
Which meant that Team Unanimous were the losers and project manager Paul Teutel, Sr. took the hit.
You're fired: The American Chopper star had to take the blame as he had been the project manager
Out of their comfort zone: The celebrities had to put on an improvised puppet show
Paul kept telling the team that he was inexperienced in the field and therefore took a backseat when it came to proceedings.
He also had a bad back so had to opt out of being a puppeteer.
Thankfully Aubry O’Day shined through on the team due to her hosting technique and ability to understand on-stage timing.
And Aubry wasn’t surprised at her success as she had earlier on said: ‘I usually impress myself so I’m not worried.’
Impressive: Lisa Lampanelli and Clay Aiken impressed the audiences with their comedic performance
Tricky time: Teresa Guidice still fared well but struggled with the rules of improvisation
Teresa Guidice and Arsenio Hall pulled off a good performance for Team Unanimous despite struggling slightly with the improvisational aspect of the puppet show.
On Team Forte, Lisa and Dayana Mendoza clashed throughout the project as Lisa refused to delegate and the former Miss Universe was left with nothing to do.
To add insult to injury, Dayana was offended when Lisa did an impersonation of a Latin woman which she dubbed ‘disrespectful’ and ‘unprofessional’.
Winning team: Lisa was delighted to have won a task as project manager
Losers: Team Unanimous sided against Paul which led to him being fired from the show
The pair were at loggerheads again just before the puppet show began when Dayana asked one more time if there was something she could do.
Lisa blew up, and Clay summed it up with the words: ‘Lisa went from zero to 60 in a second.’
Lisa yelled at Dayana: ‘It’s always something. Backstage is never good enough for you. How about this? Do whatever you f***ing want, how is that?’
Loggerheads: Lisa and Dayana Mendoza's ongoing dispute came to a head in the boardroom
Treading on eggshells: Penn Jillette tried to patch things up between the pair just before the puppet performance
Dayana rushed off and began crying, explaining to the cameras: ‘All I do with Lisa is treat her better than she treats other people and she still has no decency or respect. It’s disappointing.’
Meanwhile Lisa’s anger sent her to boiling point and she also broke down in tears, sending Penn Jillette out to fetch and comfort Dayana following the row.
When they got to the boardroom, Donald Trump went straight for the kill as he quizzed the duo over their ongoing spat.
But Lisa was clearly feeling remorseful as she broke down in tears and told Donald she didn’t want to bring anyone back into the boardroom if she lost.
Legendary: The celebrities built their puppets at Jim Henson's Cerature Shop and got to meet the Muppet creator's son Brian
Getting to grips: Teresa and Arsenio Hall weren't as well-versed in the art of puppetry as Team Forte
She said of her comedic career: 'I did not get into this position to make girls cry, so I might not bring anyone back.'
Luckily for Lisa, her team won and Paul opted to bring back Aubry and Teresa, who sided against him, with Teresa saying: 'He didn't do anything.'
Paul agreed that as project manager, the task was his responsibility and he was therefore fired by Donald, who also noted that he should have brought Arsenio back into the boardroom.
Paul took his departure in good spirits and Donald added after he left: 'He will be missed.'
Cheers: Team Forte toasted their success in celebration of winning the task
Fitting: The team were given their task at world famous toy store FAO Schwartz
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